I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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