Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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