i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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