Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
