but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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