First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
high people should be assigned attendants
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He did a backflip because drugs
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