Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
