I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
