I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I smell like Dick and happiness
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