Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
