It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
