I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
