there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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