i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
