Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
