He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
