By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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