I'm lost and stupid without you.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
