Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
