No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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