my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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