was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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