I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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