oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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