And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
