just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
