My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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