He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
