my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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