He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
