I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
