girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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