Are we in a gay sports bar?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
