I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
