So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sorry about my life...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
