I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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