..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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