I want to stick my p in your. b.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize