you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
