I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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