3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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