Please don't use social media to get back at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize