It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I want is dick and wine.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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