That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
