I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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