Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
