So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
