I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
