Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yo dont text me then not text me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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