we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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