so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Randomize
