I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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