is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
