Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize