I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
