Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
