I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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