I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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