That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
