Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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