i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need moral support for this bender
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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