I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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